Thursday, December 11, 2014

RIDING IN MUMBAI TRAFFIC – DAY 1


The wife and I rode to work for the first time today. Yes, we are now the people who fall under the demographic of Sec A+, 18-30, M/F, double income group, who live in a rented flat but own a two-wheeler. With help from the parents, we got ourselves a Honda Activa – a highly recommended and popular choice for young urban couples.

I thought I would enjoy the ride to work and back but today’s ride was a nerve-wracking experience. Before this, my only riding experience in Mumbai city has been on bicycles. I’ve ridden the Activa before but that was only a short distance, that too between Ulhasnagar and Ambarnath.

To begin with, I am not used to the idea of the big helmet. This heavy object feels like it will take my head and roll away. It also constricts your vision considerably. But what is a little discomfort if it saves your head from becoming a cracked watermelon?

I realized that I was being ultra-super-aware of everything around me. I was constantly monitoring both rear-view mirrors, keeping an eye on the speedometer, looking at the road to avoid potholes and looking at the closest vehicle up ahead trying to keep a safe distance from it.

My back would constantly heave from the bounce of the new purring machine under me. My shoulders would pass on their stiffness to my arms causing me to stretch them every few kilometers. My eyes began to hurt from the extra focus.

All my nerves felt like they belonged to a bomb-squad personnel who was wondering whether to cut the red wire or the blue wire. I was making crucial decisions at every step. Do I overtake this bus or do I just follow it? Do I take this bridge or not? Taking the aisle between cars and the wall of the bridge was the scariest part of today’s journey.  All the time I eked out of the narrow space tackling rear-view mirror hi-fives, I kept thinking, “what if one of the cars decided to swerve left and nudged us off the bridge?” It is a terrifying thought. It is still alright if you are a solo rider but you feel doubly responsible with family riding pillion.

Riding back home was comparatively funner. Mostly because the cold December wind is pleasant and there was no sun. We left work late and found less traffic. I even sang aloud to myself. I don’t know if the wife heard me though.

I am going to miss the lack of focus I could afford while travelling in a cab but I think I can get used to this.

I also learnt a few things today.

Jaywalkers will only understand what they are doing wrong when they become motorists themselves. I almost told a guy to use the footpath today. You suddenly feel like you own the road you are riding on and anyone coming between you and your road is a ‘stupid idiot who doesn’t know where he is going’. What an interesting turn of events for someone who has been a jaywalking pedestrian all this while!

Being a cyclist, I know not to rush cyclists if they hold me up. If I wait a few seconds, I can overtake them easily without bothering them. I’ve also decided to not honk until it is highly necessary.
I plan to be a good motorist, someone who waits for the lights to turn green before zooming away and someone who stops before the zebra crossing. I got told off by a biker already for doing that already. He said, “Tu jaao nakos…mala tari javoo de!” (You don’t go, at least let me go).

We ride between Chembur and Parel (Elphinstone also). Is there something we should watch out for? Something I should do or not do? Tips welcome.


Friday, July 25, 2014

Thursday, July 03, 2014

IF YOU ARE A MALAYALI, YOU NEED TO SEE DRISHYAM




My head throbs from the blood rushing to it right now. It will probably give me a nasty headache at work tomorrow, tired for want of more sleep but I can’t not write this now. A film that had you rooted to your seat should get the praise it deserves. That’s the least a writer can do.

It is 2.15 am. I just finished watching Jeethu Joseph’s masterpiece called Drishyam and I am mind-blown.
The first half of the film is slow. No, call it draggy. Like chewing gum that has been in your mouth longer than you would prefer. I complained to my wife about the slow pace and the unreal, saccharine-sweet dialogues the protagonist Mohanlal and his wife shared.

Little did I know that this pace and tone was not only intentional but also meant to be the calm before the storm that the second half was going to be!

When the central plot of the story kicks in, the film develops automatic seatbelts and binds you. I was stuck to the floor as I watched it on my laptop (from an original DVD). I couldn’t pry my eyes off the screen as Lalettan masterminded the most brilliant game of chor-police I have ever seen.  

The Wikipedia page for the film modestly calls it a drama-thriller. The film is so much more! It is a fitting tribute to the world of cinema in general. It shows an illiterate but smart person who learns the ways of life from the number of films he consumes…no, devours every day…and often every night. His thoughts are from his movies, so is the voice in his head. His brain concocts devious plans based on learnings from all these films…all to protect his family from every danger he can foresee.

Director Jeethu Joseph has managed to eke out stellar performances from all his cast members. I am sure the crew was at its creative best too when they worked on this project. You will appreciate their hard work once you see the graph of your own opinion of the film go from base level to boss level.

I recommend Drishyam to you. I would love to spoil it for you but I won’t because I want you to experience this awesomeness by yourself. I will await your reviews and will wait to know if like me, your jaws dropped too when you realized why the construction of the new police station was so integral to the story.

Meanwhile, Mr. Joseph, you have a new fan.


Friday, May 23, 2014

Love for Clay

I discovered claymation with Taare Zameen Par’s dazzling claymation titling. Enamoured by it, I wanted to study under the man who had made it - Dhimant Vyas. While that did not materialize, I decided to make myself a clay selfie. It wasn’t too bad except that I looked inflicted by some serious skin and bone disease.


In college, I took a clay snake on a trek to Tungareshwar.

More of Saamp here - http://on.fb.me/1gVCjVz

Recently, Anthony had taken up a commercial project – a bunch of claymation films to promote a VoiP brand. Forever interested in claymation, I turned up at the set just for fun. I watched them shoot, ate free food and played with the leftover clay. I got to see tools that professional clay modellers use – nothing fancy but highly functional.

Spending time pressing the soft dough and watching the clay figures become the Shahrukh Khan and Madhuri Dixit of Anthony’s film one still at a time inspired me to start playing with clay regularly.
I set up a page called ‘A Lump of Clay’ with a seemingly philosophical bio that reads – ‘The world is changing and so is this lump of clay’. Every day, the lump becomes something new.


I started with a dice and went on to do some more. Do tell me what you think. See the rest on the Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/alumpofclay 


The Lump of Clay
                                      
Shakuni's best friend

Thinking of the grandfather of claymation - Pingu


About time we made our bones



Pheess




When you become old, your kids don’t talk to you much. Even your body stops listening to you.

Be nice to old people. 
They’ll appreciate it.



The Great Indian PM Shopping Festival came to an end today!

I got disappointment. What did you get?



Use this straw to have some thanda thanda paani -http://bit.ly/1qXNFMD



Monday, May 05, 2014

5 films to catch this coming weekend

The last few weekends have been bad for the Bollywood cinema-goer but the coming weekend is making up for it like a boss. I have a feeling both Saturday and Sunday are going to be movie marathons. Here are the 5 films I am looking forward to. I am being nice and sharing links to the trailers. I might go to Mira Road to watch most of them for cheap with Hakim (if he's free). Join us if you are game. This is going to be epic! 

1. Ajoba
Ajoba the leopard was rescued from a well and fitted with a tracking device before being released into the wild. The film covers his adventurous trek from Malshej to Mumbai in 29 days - an amazing 120 kms! 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZNLbBP6Q0M
 2. Hawaa Hawaai

What looks like a rags to riches story might be one of the most beautiful children's films of all time. After the critically popular Stanley Ka Dabba, father-son duo Amole and Partho Gupte bring you the tale of a young boy who yearns to be a skater.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8WEqUvoJw4
 3. Kochada...something.

Frankly, I don't know what this is about but I am going to watch it for thalaiva and the awesome animation and SFX it is said to have.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86R7d7Ny4LA
 4. Mastram

The film is about a reluctant pornographic writer who aspires to be a litterateur, is inspired by the anonymous author of popular pulp fiction and sex stories in Hindi, only known as Mastram. These books sold at railway station stalls and small roadside and pavement shops in North India through the 1980s and 90s. Jaiswal who was the screenwriter for films likeGangs of Wasseypur (2012), makes his directorial debut with the film.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBBgv0N3Vck
 5. Manjunath - Idiot Tha Saala

This film is based on the story of a man with balls of steel or titanium or something equally strong. Shanmugam Manjunath (1978–2005) was a marketing manager (grade A officer) for the Indian Oil Corporation (IOC) who was murdered for sealing a corrupt petrol station in Lakhimpur Kheri, UP. This incident inspired several students at IIMIIT and other institutes culminating with the IIM students setting up the "The Manjunath Shanmugam Trust".


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7nPY6O8XDv8
Happy Marathoning!

Saturday, April 19, 2014

How to find your name on the voter’s list online


I just found myself on the voter’s list on the ElectionCommission’s website after a random Google search, not expecting to find anything. I ended up finding my ID Card number and the name of my polling station!

If your name already exists on the roll, here’s how you can find yourself on the list.

Step 1: Log on to http://eci.nic.in/

Step 2: Click on ‘Search Your Name In The Voters List’
(Enable pop-ups for this website. My Chrome decided to block it at the first attempt.)

Step 3: You will see a list of states on a page that reads Links to Electors Search on CEO Website. Click on your state. (This will lead you to the website of the Chief Electoral Officer of that state).

Step 4: If you are voting in Maharashtra like I am, you get a Language option – to search in English or to search in Marathi. You also get to search with your Id no. or your name. Once this is done, hit ‘GO’. (I searched in English and by name).


Step 5: Next, you get to customize your search according to ‘Assembly’ or ‘District’. Once you select the assembly/ district, enter your name, surname and father/husband’s name and then pray to find your name after you input the simple captcha code.

This is the toughest part. Expect your name to be horribly misspelt or jumbled. (I thought I was Hari Damodaran Chakyar. Apparently now I am Hari Damodharan Chakar. My mom used to be Girijadevi Damodaran. The website has made her Girijadevi Damodaran Nair. But that is still alright. My wife is a 28 year old male!).


If you do not find your name in the first attempt, try various combinations of your name. Also try changing the search customization options (If you searched by Assembly first, try searching by District next.) 




Thursday, April 10, 2014

Nat Geo’s latest campaign is just hilarious!


National Geographic just launched a series of hilarious print ads. All five of them show animals like the grizzly bear, koala bear and a gorilla clicking selfies!

The line simply drives home the message: “There are lots of terrible animal pictures out there. National Geographic Collection. The best nature images are here.”

The ads are the handiwork of Heads Propaganda, Sao Paulo, Brazil.

Here are all of them (via: Ads of the World). Enjoy!









Monday, March 31, 2014

How to make an awesome scratch post for your cats and fail


What you need:
Cardboard/wood or any kind of base.
Rope/string – basically any kind of fibre you think your cats will want to attack (ours go nuts at everything that moves but they have a special bond with string.)
Fevicol or similarly strong adhesive.
Too much patience.


As with every craft project of mine, I sat on the idea way too long. But I finally pushed myself to go get the required materials and sat down to begin around 11 in the morning.


I had barely touched the cardboard tube with the string when it was decided that we’ll have to take the cats to the vet for a pending vaccination and to put a thermometer up their bum.


Back home and after lunch, I stuck the first few lengths of string alternating between the adhesive and the string. Around this time, I began to question my ambitious goal of covering the entire surface of the tube with string.


Two hours later, I was still at 40%. Remember the part about patience? I think I have too much of it for I continued to do this mind-numbingly monotonous job. The wife saved my life by playing some interesting music meanwhile.


Two more hours later, I had 20% of the adhesive left and had finished 200 gms of string – everything I had bought in the morning. The tube looks like a decent scratch post now.


But there’s one tiny little problem.

The cats won’t go anywhere near it. 


Moral of the story: The landlord is going to throw us out because our dear cats are going to continue with their scratch-practice on the sofas.

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Cat pics and more

From never having pets before to fostering two kittens, we’ve both come a long way.

I think I’ve always been a cat person. There’s a picture of a 7-year-old me feeding milk to a cat in dad’s house in Kerala. I also have a stupid smile going with it. My wife converted after she saw me pet stray cats anywhere and everywhere. Now she can’t do without a day of cat love. Here are a few pictures of our kittens Exhibit A and Exhibit B over the last few days.


Exhibit A sleeps while B looks on.

After a game of cellotaped newspaper balls, I need to recharge my batteries

"What do you mean this is your sofa?"

"Oh, you are undressing. Well...wait, what's that?"

All you need is love.
And some sleep of course.

And some more.




and some more more.



"How can we sleep with your camera in our faces?"



Exhibit A: "Fuck this shit, I'm going home."


"Why haven't you sent me a friend request yet???"

Friday, January 03, 2014

Honeymoon self-timer adventure (NOT NSFW)


Honeymoon time and all she wanted to do was read. So I decided to entertain myself with the self-timer.


I played peeping tom


even tried to sprinkle her into action...


became Spaceman Spiff (The Mystery of the Missing Bractacles)


pillow-fought with myself



connected with my friends from Dufai


and then gave up and did my laundry. 


THE END