Thoughts on customer service

It will soon be a year since I moved to Lower Parel to be closer to my place of work. Since cooking is neither a hobby nor an option, I’ve fluidly fluctuated between a tiffin service and the nearby hotels. Saturation of both tastes would often lead me to a stall near Lower Parel railway station that vends the most awesomest aloo parathas I have ever had in my life. Made right in front of you, these hot parathas scald your fingers as you try to break a piece of it. Accompanying the two parathas in a plate are a splash of the best thecha ever and a side-dish of the day’s special sabzi that ranges between aloo-mutter and chana with soya nuggets.

It wasn’t too long ago that the guy at the stall let loose a smile and a nod at my sight. He recognized me from the dozens of previous visits. That evening onwards, each time I showed up with my face, he would smile and promptly ask his minions to set a plate for me.

Cut to today. I reach, he smiles and nods and the intern at his stall sets a plate for me. I finish my customary number of four parathas and wash it down with lassi from his neighbour. That’s precisely the moment when it began to pour and the timing was perfect because you know…Murphy was so right!

I stood there, under a thin sheet of plastic, clutching the Prince of Ayodhya by Ashok Banker and more worried about the gift horse Corby in my front pocket, a wallet in my back pocket and a borrowed 8-GB pen drive in yet another pocket. “Did I want to wet the book? Is there a Samsung service centre nearby? Does a soaked pen-drive still work? I know it does after mine came out of the washing machine numerous number of times but then this was a borrowed drive!” My train of thought would have continued in this vein if the paratha walla hadn’t called out to me waving a plastic bag. He was offering it to me for my book. I think I gave him one of my stupid grins and too loud a thank you.

He knows how to keep his customer happy. He knows how to keep his customer happy without oral sex. He knew one tiny act of helpfulness will ensure that the customer would keep coming back to eat off his hands. I bet he hasn’t gone to college to earn a MBA degree or even touched books on entrepreneurship. He just knew what to do. That is good customer service.

That is where you come in, Mr. Pacenet Broadband ‘Service’. You need to intern at the paratha walla’s stall to learn a few things. My family opted for a 3-month unlimited internet package. More than two months of reminding your ‘helpline’ (which is actually some lady's personal phone) multiple times in a day, you sent people to fix the data cable. I wonder how a company like Pacenet can afford to act as cheap as to make lame excuses over the phone.

You gave my family a harrowing experience, you fuckall internet service providing douchebag company!