Do you have the Balls in you?

Once upon a time in a place called Hamarshastra, there lived many peace-loving people. But there cannot be all goodness around. There has to be some badness around so people would know what goodness exactly is, see?

Ya, so this vacuum for badness was filled in by the Thokre clan. The patriarch of the family, Chendu Thokre used to work in a British-run newspaper as a peon. The Englishmen had named him Ball Thokre, because of his rotund shape. But as soon as the British bid adieu to the Indian soil, Ball changed his name to Chendu, which would still mean the same thing but was nevertheless in his own language.

Now, the Thokres had got their surname from the fact that they loved to visit infamous red light areas. Anyone familiar with the Mumbai lingo would understand the connection between rolling in the hay and ‘thok’re.

What was special about the clan was its unique naming ceremony. As opposed to popular belief that traditional Indians shy away from open talks about sexual intercourse, this family named its offsprings according to the sexual tendencies and fetishes that they developed. To perpetuate this, the young nameless children would be allowed to do whatever they wished to do.

So once, Ball and his youngest son went to Cum-Hatti-pura to check out some new flesh. Since Ball wanted the young one to have his own unique experience, he left him alone with 5-6 people willing to entertain him and himself knocked on the doors of middle-aged damn-sells.

Ball couldn’t sustain himself for much time. He was done quickly. After all, how much could a toothless tiger hunt? He paid his due and peeped into his son’s enclosure and to his amazement, saw the young one diving in and out of his entertainers, like Jonty Rhodes would do on many a cricket field, many years later. And thus, Ball’s youngest son came to be known as U-dive Thokre!

U-dive had a cousin. A child born to his uncle out of wedlock, generally a subject of taboo to the rest of the Indian community, but a matter of pride for the Thokre clan. This chap was a few years younger to U-dive but was smart. He looked handsome, was a more prolific speaker and was known to motivate people at a very young age. But what worried Ball was that this chap was yet to be named.

So one night, Ball peeped into the guy’s bedroom and was immediately glad that he had decided to peep. He saw the guy jerking off into a jar through a hole in the lid, the hole snug enough to simulate a sexual encounter. There! The guy had a name. Jar! Someone who made sweet love to a jar should be called just that. Jar Thokre.

Jar is just born and thinks he can take on the world. Too bad. Tch tch.