NO POINT SOMEONE- Hi, this is Hari from 'rural' Ambarnath

I remember my first days in FYBMM, Wilson College. I could feel the squirmish inside me when someone turned to me and pouted English and expected me to reply in the very same pattern too. My good and evil halves struggled and marathoned (sheesh, wtf is tht?) inside me to juggle up a concoction of well- sounding words which wouldn't sound like the place I came from! Wow, do I call it an inferiority complex or SARS (Severe Acute Rural Syndrome?)

Ambarnath, a place which I lovingly call Amby Valley after the lavish residencies in Lonavala, is in a pitiful state.My website would enshrine the fact that I love to swaer by it and bask in the radiance of the sunshine here.We are the victims of endless mindless powercutsfor not less than five hours everyday. about a week ago, we hear from people and read in the celebrated papers that beyond Kalyan (that is where the 'rural' region starts) there will be powercuts for 12 hours a day. Kewl ain't it?

I was watching Richard Attenborough's Gandhi yesterday and the power of the puny brown man in his loin cloth and anga-vastram struck me like a thunderbolt. Does he mean to say that, if you don't get what you rightly deserve, you can proclaim that you won't eat anything (not even "thodi si pet puja") and live only on boiled, filtered, cooled and bottled water passed by the Municipality?

My friends, I take this opportunity to invite you to my humble residence for a sumptuous candle-light dinner anytime you wish to come. But, be sure that you call me up before reaching my place, so I can escort you with the torch, lest the canines in my region decide that you are a nothing but a bunch of burglars on the prowl! Also be sure to amply soak youraself in the New Odomos Mosquito repellant cream ( Now available in wholesale at all leading chemist's) to prevent them, flying dragons from interrupting the interesting discussions we are likely to have.

Exactly what the title of my posts say, I talk a lot, but don't know what point to make. (Kindly refer to offer documents before investing...shit, radio lecture hangover!!!)

There...yawn..am bored....

NO POINT SOMEONE – The day I tied the knot.

The highly dramatic but enlightening lectures of our professor for Understanding Cinema- Miss Anuja got me thinking yet another time. Her prophecies coaxed the thinking cap onto my head, so tight that I keep thinking what it forces me to think!

“Shit, I pity you, you don’t remember anything about your childhood!” she said.

That sentence struck me like the apple of gravity struck Mr. Newton, reminding me of the day when I learnt to tie my shoelace.

I was in my second standard then. The day was pretty hot, so I gather it must’ve been sometime in summer. Another reason which forces me to think that it was summer is that I distinctly remember preparing for some bloody oral examination for the final examination. And isn’t it general student characteristics to eat only half tummy before the exams ‘cos the other half is filled with fluttering butterflies and tromping elephants?

Hence, my tummy was in the same condition on that day and I hastily made it to the place where the rickshaws would pick-drop us up to Fatima High School. Only then do I realize that my shoelaces had somehow become undone.

It now embarrasses me to think that I would start to sniffle and stutter at little occurrences like these. That is what I did then! My juniors, friends of standard first and kindergarten, sniggered and jeered. (Sheesh, am I actually writing this??) I wanted to run back home, to get them, stupid laces, tied again, when my neighbour, a year younger than me (who now, smokes and drinks relentlessly) bent down and tied it for me, poor, sissy of a cry baby.

Shit, I thought, now I’ll have to learn to do that, and indeed I practiced tying and untying the knot, that day after returning from a well-turned out oral examination! So, there, now you know that I have tied the knot many times!!!